Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
