Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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