he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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