I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
