I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
