anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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