I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
