YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
