I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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