yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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