So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
