He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
did you just send me my own nude
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
