idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Randomize
