Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
