You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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