MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
