how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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