The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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