non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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