Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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