he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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