I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
