He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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