hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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