so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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