so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
