youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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