Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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