No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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