he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
