heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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