this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You pole danced in your parka.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
