you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
