is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I seem to have left my pride at pride
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
