none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
