we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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