I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
