remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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