We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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