p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
