when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
