I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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