I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
and she was petting her beer can
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
