Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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