Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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