If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
