I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
