my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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