Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize