She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
