i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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