PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
