I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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