How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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