I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize