I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
