I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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