My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
