You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
