if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
