D3 body, D1 cock
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
