You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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